Depression is a bitch

Yes, depression is a bitch. Depression has been in my life for as long as I can remember, sometimes more, sometimes less visible. She (I will use a female pronoun to describe her, it just sounds right to me, please do not take any offence) is like a monster, sometimes controlling my life for several months. Surrounding me on each side, and making me either bang my head on its invisible walls, hurting myself and getting nowhere, or hide myself in a "hole in the ground", where there is hardly any light, and where there is nowhere to go.

Then she goes away for a few months, and for a moment I feel like a normal man. I feel free, happy, I can do things, I can enjoy things. I can love others and I can love myself.

And when I forget her existence, she is back. The monster exhales the dark cloud all over me, then it gets thick so I cannot move. I am trapped again.

But now, after all these years, I have learned something: I know the monster will come back. And therefore I am getting ready.  I will fight.

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I am just at the moment when I feel it coming back. This blog is to tell you how I am going to fight. Let's see if I succeed.