There are days like today, when I wake up (after dealing with the night monsters - they did not leave me alone to night), and I feel just great. My mind is clear, I feel energetic, and I am look forward to both what I have planned for the day, and to what will come as a surprise. I am now in a 'transitional' phase, trying to prevent (or delay), if possible, the return of a longer period of the Gloom. I would say I get perhaps one or two mornings like that every week.
So what is the paradox? The paradox is that I somehow do not feel like the same person as I used to be yesterday. I may have started a train of thought, I may have started writing about something, I may have started engaging into something (in order not to think about the bad mood), and it turned out quite interesting. But today, I do not seem to care about that stuff anymore, so I will probably leave those things unattended, and perhaps pick them up again when I am in a mood similar to the one I was when I started them. In the meantime, I will enjoy a brighter day and focus on something else, something that appears more important, and I had no energy yesterday to undertake.
To others, it may look like instability, but this is the paradox of my life. There are activities for cloudy days, and there are activities for sunny days. I wish the weather was the same every day.
But it is not.
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