It is the second night without monsters (my nightmare dreams). Of course, I had some bad and unpleasant elements in my dreams, but these were just random, not related too much the main themes that have bothered me for a long time, and not caused too much disruption.
Therefore, I have enough energy to hunt them at day. My "day monsters" take the form of negative emotions that kick in, apparently a bit easier in my mind and the minds of people who suffer from similar forms of depression, compared to most people. I gave you an example before; a single criticism at work, or bad service received, or lack of success on my own undertaking (e.g. learning to play a tune, or trying to fix a leaking tap) can trigger a spiral and a belief that the world is horrible, the life is horrible, and I am worthless as I cannot cope with all these. Once these feelings add up, I get overwhelmed, and - after a while - coming back to balance is almost impossible (however I have found that some stuff can help in a relatively harmless way - for example, some analgesics like ibuprofen seem to ease my mental pain. Not sure why, and apparently there is not much science on this around, but I found it accidentally, having had some minor surgical procedures earlier this year. I found that some people report it too, but I could not find any proper research on this. Probably no one has conducted any).
I am going to write down each of these negative emotions and perhaps that will help. I need to recognise and catch them early, this is the hardest bit.
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