The Freedom Monster is a stealth one. This monster has always been appearing in my life, from time to time causing some problems - only temporary though. I can see this monster in many other people as well. This is monster that deceives me by giving me a feeling of enormous pleasure, and my engaging with this monster deeper and deeper, there is more and more pleasure, and more and more need for more pleasure. Until it brings destruction.
Last Saturday this monster caught me with drinking and fun. I had visitors, and we were spending some nice time drinking, listening to great music, playing music. How it all finished - you can probably imagine. Drank a but too much, went to sleep too late, felt horrible the next morning (and most of the day in fact). As I do not drink too often (I quite like good drinking and fun, but I just hate the horrible consequences). So, the monster needs to find something else to amuse himself. His other favourite area is food. Basically, I have also been very difficult to satiate. I can go without food all day, but when I start, it is very hard for me to stop. Every piece I swallow gives me such incredible pleasure, that I go for more. Another area is sex - perhaps less now, but more when I was younger.
I see the same stuff with other people who engage into things for pleasure. Shopping, trading, watching TV, clubbing, gossipping, cleaning the house .... go for anything you like. Even ... hating people! Don't most religions call this monster "the Devil", and the deeds "sins"?
Some people say that "our weaknesses are our strength". I sometimes catch myself getting in a similar state with work or hobbies. I start something and just doing it gives me such enormous pleasure that I cannot stop. It can exhaust me, keep me without sleep, but I will keep doing it. I see lots of people at my work who are like that, they usually get quite far with their career, because they do lots of stuff and seem to be extremely enthusiastic about it. One thing I am not sure about is if such people are happy; they must have very little time for their families, and I can see similar patterns with drinking. eating, etc. Once they start, they cannot stop.
Anyway, I can see several ways to deal with this monster:
- let him go and control my life. Just treat him as an integral part of myself, and enjoy the pleasures. There is only one life. Well, yes, but I do not want to end up fat, sick, and mess everything up.
- keep him away - limit the exposure to all the Great Pleasures That Wake him up. Can it work in long term? I can (and actually tried) not eating all day, then starting only late in the evening, so there is not much time left. The benefit of this approach is that it is easy; the difficulty is that ones the exposure happens, the Monster strikes with all his energy.
- control the monster - this is contrary, engage into what triggers the monster, and then strengthen my will and control myself. Eat a little in the morning, and then control myself not to eat anything until lunch time, an then tea or dinner. Limit myself to 2-3 drinks at a time. Working on something engaging - plan the time and stop accordingly. It takes a lot of effort, and the thing to learn is to tolerate craving. It is also very sad life, I tied it for a few years, and at the end I felt that I was missing all the enjoyment of life.
- use the monster - learn to recognise the pattern, and use it for a good purpose. For example, not let him go with food or drink, but let him drive, within defined limits, things that are very important and can bring benefit. For example, if I could feel like that studying? Reading? Working? Playing music? Doing everything that I want to do, but often lose enthusiasm shortly after I start. This sounds like the best approach, yet I am not sure how to achieve it. Somehow, my Pleasure Monster often does not like the stuff my reason would like to do.
Perhaps a mix of everything, in a sensible way, is the answer?
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